[Friday, Sept. 24, 2004][]

review: long-ignored.

[news: orion] has been updated.
[guide: scoring] has been updated.
[profile: orion] has been updated.

first impression: sepia tones. a good choice for memories.

layout: [twenty-three of thirty points] most links work, color scheme is pleasing to the eye, and the layout is simple but effective. your picture shows a little distortion from resizing, but other than that, everything is acceptable. as for the link not working, it's an entry referring to a previous entry. possibly you deleted it because it was a little too juicy.

content: [fifty-two of sixty points] after reading the current entry, then the cast, and introduction entries, we went to the beginning and started from there. has anyone ever told you that you've got an one track mind? not that we're against such material, but it is presenting a very one-dimensional view of you. your entries are consice without being long-winded, which is something that we ourselves try to accomplish, but doubt our accomplishments on that. perhaps that's just the beginning of your diary, but it seems to be most focused on your sex life. at least you're cognizant of that fact.

early on, you say you're faithful in body only, and not in heart or mind. while the ancient greeks often equated action with thought, it's just not the case today. unless someone is going to get hurt, you're not doing anything wrong. but there is the conflict developing... the total honesty and unabashed presentation is probably as liberating for us as it is for you. [here] it seems to come to a climax of sorts, and a few entries later, you said again you're doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. nevermind the fact that you still ended up doing the right thing. maybe it's the fact that you feel you're doing things half assed, but that's up to interpretation. are we to infer what happened [here]? we did notice that there is a name at the bottom of most of the entries, usually sam, but on that one it says alex, but we'll discuss that in the judgement.

in mid january, you finally own up to the fact that your relationship with sam had decayed to an irreperable point, and you'd made it plainly clear that he wasn't doing it for you in the bedroom. fine, but just because he's a nice guy and does care about you doesn't negate the sex. sex is a part of a committed realtionship, period end of story.

we then skipped to august, two thousand four, if only to save time on our behalf, though we did scan the entries leading up to august. you seemed to be circling the bowl for a little bet, and we wanted to get to the now, and see how things are going. you seem more liberated. almost more zen-like, and ultimately happier, after that nonsense with sam.

frequency: [six of ten points] winter and spring months were spartan, but summer saw a lot of activity.

bonus: [three points] mister biased enjoyed the sordid nature of your diary. you could do well with writing those cheezey romance novels.

judgement: after everything, you're still with sam, but you never really say why. that perplexes us. for as upset as you were earlier, for as much as his inadequacies plague you, you remain with him. do you stay for your need of being loved, or because of it? either way, you're clearly unhappy with your situation, but unable or willing to do anything because of the modicum of comfort you draw from it.

mister biased has had some experience with this. something possibly unimaginable to you, but he spent the better part of a year and a half not knowing a warm body next to his, and didn't find a stable relationship until just recently. in a sense, you're striving to define yourself, to find yourself. but you seem to only be able to define yourself by the person (or people) you're involved with rather than your own considerable merits.

you at one time express guilt for expressing how you feel in your diary. just because you let strangers read it doesn't change the fact that it's supposed to be all about you. it's supposed to be a place where you can just let go, and damn the torpedos. mister biased will also be adding you to his personal favorites list

[eighty-four percent]
[eighty-four of one hundred points]
[mister biased]

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