[Tuesday, Sept. 14, 2004][]

review: pornoviolent.

first impression: justin motherfucking timberlake, and a template that scrolls. :makes an icky face: surely this cannot bode well. however, upon further inspection (and finding the link), you seem to have a sort of 'fear and loathing in las vegas' feel to not only your template but the handful of entries we scanned.

layout: [twenty-one of thirty points] all of the links work. it is modestly difficult to find your 'next/previous' button without scrolling through your indescreetly weblog style entries, and the scroll down button must be covered up by one of your images. but as we said, you've got a 'fear and loathing' sort of feeling, so why not run with it? your pictures are crisp and clean, with the exception of the scanlines over 'no vacancy' in the hotel sign disappear for a small block. we like the use of the color halftone in a few of the images, and find the small image of the man receiving a blow job amusing. we assume you made this template yourself, as such an unweildy layout would be difficult at best to market.

content: [ forty-seven of sixty points] near the in and out burger. clever reference, el duderino. you remind mister biased of a man named james from canada. you've got a certain manaic quality to your writing, and while entertaining, it's also taxing on the mind. it reminds us of watching a group of severly ADHD children attempting to perform macbeth: by the time events have finished setting themselves up and things start to get intresting, the patience has been worn down to the thickness of a damp pompadom.

we started at the beginning, and worked our way backwards. while the 'fuck you' attitude that is prevalent in your diary is all too common, it does make your use of the netspeak work since you're obviously lampooning the phenominon rather than succumbing to it. the entry about your escapades in paris, while farfetched, was good. you can tell a coherent story despite your 'i've got to fit everything in while i'm still thinking of it,' when you put your mind to it.

also, we liked the little amusing stories that had nothing whatsoever to do with what's going on. "babyface", and "the stalker" especially.

frequency: [five of ten points] 'binge and purge' would best describe your update habits.

bonus: [five points] for being the first, for being amusing, and for having 'extra' material

judgement: issac asimov once said that he tried to be clear on what was happening in his stories above all else. the relavence of each entry, what happens before and after what does have an impact on the reader. we read the majority of your entries, and found that you were right, though. the reason is that you don't ever stay on a given topic for more than twelve seconds. but it is as you said, your journal, to do whatever your heart desires. we may return at a later date to see how things are going for you.

oh. we believe that men call the color 'salmon,' not 'pink' as to hide their insecurity about their sexuality.

[seventy-eight percent]

[seventy-eight points of one hundred points]

[mister biased]

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