[Thursday, Apr. 14, 2005][14:36]

review: dadagirl.

first impression: "Cold be heart and rock and bone, and call every traveller far from home. They do not see what lies ahead when sun has faded and moon is dead."

layout: [twenty-eight of forty-nine points] standard fare template. semi-inspired imagery complete with song lyrics. granted, they are dokken lyrics and kudos should be given for that, but the format of your lyrics in the image looks like they were crammed in there. it looks like there's enough room to preserve the original spacing. most of your links work, and considering the great collapse that diaryland experienced a few weeks ago, this is considerable. though, on your diaryrings page something bizarre happens to the links on the side. they are the same color unless hovered over.

content: [forty of eighty-seven points] the beginning is always a good place to start. [here] you write about love versus hate. fairly wise words, actually. but that's just the na�vety talking. we always seem to think we know more than we actually do. we skipped over some of your "story." after two entries, we felt that it jumpped and skipped without any appreciable rhyme or reason andthe narrative itself was rather ham-handed. we won't even begin to discuss your "songs."

[it is often] the things that pass us by that we regret the most. consequently, you should not feel guilty or ashamed for doing something that pleases you. as we delve further into your diary, this fellow is making repeat appearances.

it is also little surprise that this hit you [close to home]. you seem to be under the impression that true happiness comes from being in a relationship, from being emotionally involved with someone. your own fear of someone else's perspective warping is evidence of this. furthermore, your phone man, who could have provided you with such fufillment you later reject.

angst is a wealthy source for writing, but it needs to be contrasted by something, without it, you lose any sort of perspective that might be gained. typos and misspellings seem to run rampant in your writing, and you seem to lack any sort of inspiration at times; just going through the motions, rather than telling how you feel.

frequency: [two of twenty-two points] entries cling to each other in small groups separated by weeks and even months.

judgement: it will be stated at this point that mister biased has a very high standard of writing and music. but just because he did not like your writing or your songs, does not mean that others will not. persistance is generally the key. it is easy to give a goal to oneself, and not back it up with the required self discipline.

"there is nothing worth trying that is not difficult." take these words to heart. there was never any promise that things were going to be easy, or that extreme effort would not be required.

your jealousy makes you bitter. while you are cognizant of this, it should also be said that a relationship does not happiness make. you write about how miserable you are, but rarely about what makes you happy. negativity is always a self-fufilling prophecy.

[seventy of one hundred fifty-eight points]
[forty-four percent]
[mister biased]

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